Badger came on Ink Monkey in the library, poring over books and plans. She had been busy all morning down at the boat with her measuring-tape and little black note-book. ‘You’re hard at work, Madam Secretary,’ said Badger.
‘O, hello Badger! This really is the most marvellous library you have here. I especially like these books by Harold Underhill. He’s a terrific draughtsman and with such an eye for detail. Just looking at his drawings makes you feel that you could build them – and makes you want to!’
‘Yes, he’s one of my favourites too. He seems to have loved sailing-boats since he was a child, though he grew up far from the sea. Became quite an expert on them, yet I don’t know that he ever went to sea. His drawings made me feel exactly the same way when I first set eyes on them many years ago – not that I ever got round to building anything! Still, never too late, eh?’ ‘I should think not,’ said Ink Monkey. ‘Now what have you been up to? I see a lot of notes in your little black book!’ ‘O, those are just questions that came to me as I was measuring the boat. I jotted them down so that I could pursue them when I returned to the library. There’s rather a lot of them. But my primary aim was to ascertain the boat’s dimensions. I’ve made a fair copy of that.’
Badger peered at the paper. ‘You’ll have to explain your thinking to me here,’ he said. ‘Length between perpendiculars I know is measured from where the deck meets the stem to the outside of the sternpost, while beam of course is the maximum width; but why have you got three different scales?’ ‘Well, you see,’ said Ink Monkey, ‘when you said, in the course of our survey, that we might want to replace the deck, I took you to mean that we should have something more like the deck in a full-size boat, with proper planks.’ ‘That is exactly what I meant!’ said Badger. ‘Mr Underhill is all for following full-size practice as far as possible.’
Ink Monkey nodded in agreement. ‘Yes indeed,’ she said, ‘but that raises a question, don’t you see – namely, what is a full-size boat in this case?’ ‘How do you mean?’ said Badger, puzzled. ‘It’s a boat that’s, well, full-sized.’ ‘Yes,’ said Ink Monkey, ‘but what size is that? Is it forty feet long or a hundred and sixty? Till we know that, we can’t be sure what size to make the individual parts, like the planks, for instance.’ ‘I see what you mean,’ said Badger. ‘Have your researches led you to any conclusions?’ ‘I think so,’ said Ink Monkey. ‘What I was hoping to find was a full-size boat with dimensions close to ours that might serve as an example for imitation.’ She delved into the drawer of her desk and produced a lap-top computer. ‘The first one I tried was at one inch to the foot, or one-twelfth scale, which equates to a 35′ length with a beam of 11’ 6″. That gave me this:
Here are her details – https://woodenships.co.uk/sailing-yacht/c-e-nicholson-gaff-cutter/ As you can see, she’s 38′ 6″ by 11′ 2″, a pretty close match.’ Badger peered at the screen. ‘Bless my soul,’ he said, ‘I know that boat! She’s called Larry and her skipper is an intrepid young woman who has just published a book – in fact I ordered it just last week, so it should be here at any time.’
‘What a rermarkable coincidence,’ said Ink Monkey. ‘However, as you can see, Larry has only one mast, so I thought our prototype might be something larger. At the same time, I think that perhaps 160′ from stem to stern is too large, so I incline to the middle scale, half an inch to the foot or 1/24th. That gives us 70′ betweeen perpendiculars or 80′ stem to stern, with a beam of 23′ and a hull depth of 19′ with a draft of 9′ or so.’ ‘So is there anything in particular fits that?’ asked Badger. ‘Not in the way of exact matches,’ said Ink Monkey, ‘but I’m beginning to develop a strong sense of what sort of boat she might be. We can rule out the ketch and yawl, since their second mast is a mizen abaft the mainmast, whereas ours has a foremast forrard of the main.’ ‘So what does that leave?’ ‘Quite a lot, actually – she might be a brig or a snow or a brigantine or a hermaphrodite brig, but the more I look into it, the more I’m convinced that our prototype should be a topsail schooner, of the sort that plied the coastal trade – a real work-horse of a boat.’
‘The dockyard one is quite strikingly like ours,’ said Badger, “I think you are on the right track there.’ ‘I’m glad you agree,’ said Ink Monkey. ‘Although Mr Underhill insists that some had fine shapely hulls, he allows that the general idea of them was ‘bluff tubby little craft’ and I fear that our dimensions do rather suggest that.’ ‘I like bluff and tubby,’ said Badger. ‘Me too,’ said Ink Monkey ‘but we can assure Small that they’re quite fit for quests – although their principal occupation was the coastal trade, they were capable of long deep-water voyages too.’ ‘I think what Small will like best is that you’ve chosen half an inch over one inch to the foot,’ smiled Badger. ‘It makes him twice the size.’ Ink Monkey smiled too. ‘As a matter of fact, I was wondering what scale we are.’ ‘Ah, now, that’s a tricky question – being magical creatures, we exist outside the bounds of time and space, so scale does not apply to us – as I think I can demonstrate.’ ‘Really?’ asked Ink Monkey, astonished. ‘Take a look at the picture at the head of this article,’ said Badger. ‘I’m looking,’ said Ink Monkey. ‘ Now, look a little closer,’ said Badger. ‘What’s that on the middle shelf behind you, to the right?’
Ink Monkey peered closer’Why, it’s me!’ she cried, ‘sitting at this desk, reading this book, in this room!’
‘And if you look behind that Ink Monkey, you can see a set of shelves, and on the middle shelf, you can just make out –’
‘O, stop, stop!’ cried Ink Monkey. ‘You’re making my brain hurt!’
‘I shall leave you to your researches,’ said Badger, and he tiptoed out. ‘Good work, Madam Secretary!’ he said, as he reached the door; but Ink Monkey was once again absorbed in her books.
COMPLEAT TROWZER 